If you were in an abusive relationship, chances are you were conditioned to believe that saying “no” was selfish. You may have been taught that protecting your time, your energy—even your body—was somehow unloving or unchristian. 

But let’s pause and tell the truth: Boundaries are not barriers to love. They are the very structure that makes healthy love possible. Boundaries don’t shut people out. They keep you safe. They preserve what’s sacred. They guard your peace, protect your healing, and empower you to choose what you will and won’t allow into your life. 

Think of it like this: Your heart is your home. Would you leave your front door wide open with no fence, no gate, and no way to protect what matters most inside? Of course not. Just like your home needs boundaries, so does your heart. “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23 

Today’s Boundary Practice: 

Drawing a Gentle Line 

1. Pause and reflect: Where in your life do you feel drained, anxious, or resentful? – Is someone constantly demanding your time or energy? – Are you saying “yes” when your heart says “no”? – Do you over-explain yourself just to avoid conflict? 

2. Ask yourself: – What boundary could protect my peace right now? – What would I say if I believed that my needs mattered just as much as anyone else’s? 

3. Affirm yourself: Finish this sentence: 

“It’s okay for me to say no to ____, and yes to ____.” Example: “It’s okay for me to say no to late-night calls, and yes to quiet evenings that help me feel grounded again.” 

4. Ground in truth:

“Boundaries don’t make me mean—they make me safe.” 

Boundaries are not punishments. They are not cold ultimatums. They are acts of love—toward yourself. And they are the blueprint others use to learn how to love and respect you, too. You are allowed to be kind and clear. Soft and strong. Loving and protective of your space. This is what healing looks like. 

Tomorrow, we’ll talk about how to stop apologizing for your existence—and how to stand in your healing without guilt or shame.