Editor’s Note: A Word of Truth and Tenderness for You, Brave Woman 

For many women who’ve lived through abuse, “keeping the peace” was not a choice—it was a survival strategy. You were taught to read the room before you read yourself. To keep things smooth. To stay agreeable. To manage his moods, their comfort, and everyone’s expectations—often at the cost of your own. 

But what no one told you was this: The kind of peace that demands you shrink, silence, or abandon yourself… isn’t peace at all. It’s performance. It’s emotional labour. It’s a desperate attempt to be loved, accepted, or at least left unharmed. 

And it’s exhausting. 

Real peace is different. It doesn’t punish you for having needs. It doesn’t mute your voice. It doesn’t ask you to disappear so someone else can stay regulated. 

Real peace includes you. It’s the breath that fills your lungs when you no longer carry everyone else’s emotions. It’s the freedom of saying no without fear. It’s the quiet steadiness that comes from finally knowing: You are safe to choose what aligns with your values. 

Today’s Healing Practice: Choosing Peace Without Betraying Yourself 

1. Reflect on a recent moment where you felt unsettled or anxious. Ask yourself: 

• Did I say “yes” when I really wanted to say “no”? 

• Did I hold back a boundary because I didn’t want to upset anyone? 

• Did I take responsibility for how someone else was feeling? 

2. Gently examine your response. 

• Was that true peace—or was it silence dressed up as harmony?

• What would peace have looked like if I had included myself in the equation? 

3. Affirm this truth out loud or write it somewhere you’ll see it often: 

“Peace that costs me myself is not peace at all. I am allowed to create peace that protects me—not just someone else’s comfort.” 

You are allowed to unlearn the lies that kept you quiet. You are allowed to stop people-pleasing, and start people-releasing. You are allowed to stop saying “yes” when it costs you peace, sleep, dignity, or safety. 

The peace you long for isn’t out there in someone else’s approval. It’s in you—waiting for you to stop apologizing and start honouring your truth. 

Your soul doesn’t want perfection. It just wants peace that doesn’t hurt. 

Tomorrow, we’ll talk about something even more freeing: Letting go of the need to explain yourself—and standing strong in the quiet confidence that your worth is not up for debate.