Sometimes, just when you think you’re finally doing okay, grief sneaks up on you again. It might be triggered by a smell, a song, a memory—or nothing at all. Suddenly, you’re overwhelmed by sadness, anger, confusion, or emptiness, and you wonder, “Why am I back here again?”

But here’s the truth:
You’re not back at the beginning. This isn’t proof that you’ve failed. This is just part of the healing. Healing isn’t linear—and that’s okay.

Grief Isn’t Linear—It’s Layered
Grief after abuse is complex. You’re not just grieving what happened. You’re grieving what never did.

• The love you didn’t receive.
• The protection you deserved.
• The version of yourself that got lost in survival.
• The years you can’t get back.

Grief doesn’t move in tidy steps. It arrives in waves—sometimes quietly, sometimes forcefully— and healing peels back each layer slowly, often just when you thought you were done feeling this way.

You Are Allowed to Mourn What Was Stolen
Grief is not weakness. It is a sacred expression of your humanity. It means you’re acknowledging your wounds instead of minimizing them. It means your heart is awakening to what you truly needed—and didn’t get. It means you are learning to love yourself more deeply, even through sorrow.

Grief doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means something precious was broken around you— and now you are tenderly putting the pieces back together.

Reflection Practice: Honouring Your Grief Gently

1. When a wave of grief hits, pause.
   Don’t judge it. Don’t suppress it. Just breathe through it.
   Say to yourself: “This feeling is valid. This wave will pass.”
2. Write a short letter to the version of you that’s grieving.
   Speak kindly to her. Let her feel seen and supported.
   Example: “I know this still hurts. I’m sorry you had to carry so much. You deserved safety, love, and peace. I’m here now, and I won’t abandon you.”
3. Create a gentle grief ritual.
   Listen to music that soothes your soul.
   Place your hand on your heart and whisper:
   “It’s okay to feel this. I’m allowed to mourn and still move forward.”

Grief Is a Sign You’re Healing Deeper
Each time grief resurfaces, it’s not a setback—it’s a sign that you’re feeling again. That you’re not numb. That you’re reclaiming your wholeness. Let the tears come when they need to. Let the silence hold you. Let the ache pass through without shame. Because even in grief, you are healing. And healing is never a straight line—it is a sacred, spiralled journey back to yourself.

Tomorrow: We’ll talk about learning to take up space again.